To the Cashier at WalMart....

Thank you! You may have kids or you may not, I didn't ask! You're very young, but you seemed to see straight through the facade! No, I'm not a single mother, however, I was at the time that I came through your line. You see, my husband works 50+ hours to be able to provide us these groceries that you're scanning for me. So, yes, often on my grocery store trips, I'm hauling a 5 year old and a 4 month old by myself. 

Thank you for kindly greeting me (with a smile) when I walked up to your register. Yes, I do have some handsome boys, thank you for noticing that, too! 

Yes, the baby has been on the verge of crying this whole trip, but I'm glad he's waited until now. "We're almost done, baby, it's okay", I say into his ear as I'm trying my best to console him and unload the buggy at the same time. "No, baby, you don't need that!" I say to my 5 year old who wants at least SOMETHING (preferably a $4.00 Etch-a-Sketch that is the size of my hand) from that shelf with all the pointless crap on it, that usually has parents yelling at their kids to stop touching it or put it back. "Go pick you out a piece of candy instead." He REALLY is so very well behaved while I pull him around the grocery store. He, at least, deserves a $0.50 piece of candy. Plus, the $0.50 that I spend on the Reece Cups for the 10 seconds that you enjoy it, is much more worth it than that $4.00 Etch-a-Sketch, which you would also enjoy for about 10 seconds. 

Attention now back to you, cashier girl. Thank you for offering to unload the groceries from the buggy for me, but it's okay, I've got it. The baby is going to be crying either way. He's tired and hungry, and really just wants to be home. We've been running around all day. Honestly, thinking back on it, I might have actually let you if this was more of a common gesture offered. In reality, though, most cashiers that I come in contact with don't even acknowledge my presence, much less my kids. 

Thank you, for actually holding a conversation with me while also distracting my 5 year old long enough to get his attention away from that Etch-a-Sketch that he still wants. You really are very nice. 

"No, I've got it", you tell me for the 2nd time, with a smile, as you load my bags into my buggy. I honestly think I was in a state of shock. I thought I came into WalMart, but I'm wondering if I've gone a little delusional and I'm really in Publix. No, it's WalMart, I say to myself as I'm looking around. You're still smiling and still talking to me. I can't even remember the last time I've had this kind of customer service...Oh yes...it was at Publix. 

Thank you so much for making the most stressful part of my trip a little more enjoyable. Thank you for being so kind and joyful. Thank you for the conversation, thank you for your smile. And THANK YOU for your outstanding display of customer service. Businesses, not just Walmart, need more employees like you! LIFE needs more people like you. I will not forget you, Bridget! You were AWESOME!!

"CRAP!! I forgot the cat food!!" I tell my son as we're walking towards the exit. "Momma, I gotta tee-tee!" Oooohhh, DOUBLE CRAP!! 

"Me-Time"?

Right this minute as I am blogging away, I am sitting in a nice, hot, "Pure Epsom Salt with Eucalyptus and Spearmint", bubbly bath! Am I enjoying some well-needed, well-deserved "Me-Time"? Hardly!

Once a mother, "me-time" no longer exists! You may think that one hour trip to the department store qualifies as such, or that hour spent getting your nails and feet done, or how about that night out, just you and the hubby??? NOPE! None of that qualifies as "me-time"! 

Wanna know why?

As I sit here in my nice, hot, "Pure Epsom Salt with Eucalyptus and Spearmint", bubbly bath, want to know what's going on, on the other side of that door? My kids! While my 3 month old is sound asleep, I am still sitting here thinking about him! Mainly, PRAYING he doesn't wake up and pull me from my so-called relaxation time, but also just worrying and thinking about him. My 5 year old? Want to know what he's doing?? Pretending to be some superhero that LITERALLY sounds like is tearing my house apart. And yes, I can hear every single bit of it! 

OH, right on cue, there he is, opening my "door to privacy" asking me to fix his shirt so he can properly portray the roll of Bruce turning into the Hulk. 

"Me-Time" does not exist for moms! Moms do not even know what the word 'ME' means. This is a word that applies directly to ones self. Moms no longer have that luxury. No matter what we're doing, no matter where we're at, or who we are with, it is still and always will be, all about our kids. Our children are always on our minds, whether we're with them or not. 

So, yeah! When you decide to take the journey of motherhood, you can go ahead and throw all that "me-time" right out the window, because it will, immediately, become a distant memory! However, totally worth it!! =)

My Kid's Messy Room

Can we just say DISASTER AREA!! No, the above is not a picture of my child's room, though it very easily could be. My 5 year old's room should have a sign on the door that reads "Enter at your own risk" followed by "We are not responsible for any injuries obtained while in this area". Seriously, it can get THAT bad. Oh, and it's all MY fault!

Yep, that's right. The word "fault" implies a sense of responsibility, which kids are not automatically born with. It's up to us as parents to teach them. And all that "stuff" that ends up in piles scattered all over his bedroom floor; he didn't go out and buy all of it, we did! Or family and friends did. Yes, we celebrate birthdays and Christmas, and allow family and friends to buy presents. So, every new toy that comes into this house is something that we have allowed. 

Usually, at least twice a year, I go through all of his toys and clothes, to clean out and declutter. However, that does not take away from the fact that he stills has much more than most 5 years old's have, and much, much more than any 5 year old NEEDS. 

Messy room vs. clean room....

Yesterday, I took the time to get into my son's room and clean and organize. When I was done, he walked in there and was very appreciative. "WOW!! It's all clean, thank you Momma!!" 

He loves it when his room is clean, but truth is, he loves it when it's a mess, too. What may look like a disaster area to me, is still his room to him, and for the most part, when his room is a total wreck, you can ask him where something is, and he will go straight to it. 

I am one to always say, "Everything has a place!". Even though my house does not always resemble that, nevertheless, it does not take away from the fact that there IS a place for everything. Well, to him, in the midst of all the wreckage, everything IS in its place. 

Messy or not, a child's room is like their sanctuary. It is the one place they can go to that it THEIRS. So, while I will teach my son responsibility, I will also NOT be one to constantly nag him about cleaning his room. Don't get me wrong, because I will not allow it to be dirty and gross (there is a difference), but part of teaching him responsibility is to allow him to be responsible. 

For now, I will continue to clean his room and declutter every so often, but he will get to the age one year where I just won't do it anymore, and it will be his responsibility to clean it...or not! 

Can we just pretend??

There are many things, as a mother, that we just DON'T want to think about!

This morning I assisted my mom with a Premier Jewelry show for the staff of a local nursing home. As I'm sitting there observing a few of the staff ladies looking over the jewelry and chatting, I hear one of the ladies say "She is going to drive me crazy about this college thing! It's just one of those things, if I don't think about it then it doesn't exist!" 

So, of course, that got me thinking! Oohh, if people only knew how often moms do that! I mean, my motherhood journey is still just in the beginning stages (5 yr old and 3 mo old), but I have seriously done and said that sooooo many times. "I'm just not going to think about it!" Which means, "It's never going to happen!"

Things like (in no particular order).....College (like she said), their first dates, driving, moving out, their first heartbreak, their first car accident, their weddings, graduation, their first trips without mom and dad, and I could go on and on.

For me, right now, it's little things like, when he tells me not to kiss him in front of his friends, the first time he stays the night at a friends house, when he no longer wants to cuddle with me, or when instead of saying "I love you, Momma", he just says "Bye!". Even stupid things like, when he starts wanting to play "big boy" games instead of his Lego games, when he doesn't want a "themed" birthday party, but instead wants to go to a restaurant or something with some friends,  or OH MY GOSH, when he no longer wants to watch the Disney channel or Disney movies. UGGHHHH!!!

So, can we just pretend? If I don't think about it then it doesn't exist, right? RIGHT!?!?!

I swear, God has been really trying to get it through my thick skull lately, that my little babies are not going to be little forever. Enjoy them now, Brittney, before they're done with the "little kid" stuff and doing teenage stuff. Stop getting so frustrated when he says "Look at me!" 20 million times in a row, because one day he'll be saying "Leave me alone!" instead.

Yeah, this would be the 3rd night this week...

That I have attempted to wash the same load of clothes. =/ I get as far as putting the detergent in the washing machine and turning it on and that's it. Haha. One morning I even had to get up and throw a pair of my sons jeans in the dryer before school so he would have something to wear. Luckily, they hadn't set in the washing machine long enough to have that mildew smell, because OH MY GOSH, I can not stand that! He would have just had to skip school. ;)

So, as a momma, do I have it all together?

Not even close!!

I think we momma's have a very bad habit of beating ourselves up for not being perfect when it comes to parenting. And not just that, but we beat each other up, as well. We judge ourselves, we judge each other, we will swear some days that we are totally messing our kids up. In reality, though, it's just so far from the truth, that it's ridiculous!!

My laundry STAYS piled up...

  And, I promise you, it's normally worse than that! Look at that broom sitting there like I was actually going to use it! Hahaha! Oh, and that door is shut for a reason. We are NOT even going there.

My living room....

Again...normally worse! And, yes! That is my 5 year old in just his underwear. He does not wear clothes when he's at home. 

Also, as you can see in the above picture, that is my 5 year old playing his XBox game. He plays it waaayy too much. When we should sit down and read more of those books on that shelf over there. 

Do we eat healthy? Heck no! Want to know what we had for dinner tonight?

YUP!! Hamburger helper...which is honestly what we eat most nights. I do occasionally fix an extensive, well thought out, very delicious, homemade meal...but it's rare..AND the husband MUST be home for something like that (he works nights). My son drinks way too many cokes and juices, not near enough water. We all eat way too much junk food. 

Not to mention...I loose my patience...often. 

I'm a HUGE worrywart.

We struggle BIG TIME, financially.

And the list goes on...

So, no! I am not even close to having it all together. Most days, I have no clue what I'm doing! I'm sure a lot of mommies can relate to some of this. So, just know, you are not alone. And YOU are doing an AWESOME job. Most importantly, though, your children, that you worry so much about, will always think YOU are the BEST mommy in the WORLD. And that is always enough!! 

In Honor of Savoring the Moment

I took the time last night to just stop and take a breather and enjoy some good quality time with my boys, especially my oldest. And guess what?? We had A LOT of fun. =)

Of course, my big boy had to go to school, so throughout the day I made it a point to be more interactive with my 3 month old. He's getting to the stage now where he can interact with certain toys. So, instead of holding him all day or putting him in his swing or bouncer, we got on the floor and had some playtime. 

And, he LOVED it. I told my husband that he should be starting to roll over between 3 and 4 months, but how is he ever going to learn how to roll over if he's never on the floor to try and figure it out? I mean, geez! Just one of those things that you don't really think about on a daily basis, then one day it's like "Dang! I'm probably holding him back!" O'well, we're doing it now!

Anyway, so yeah! He loves floor time! I call it floor time, instead of tummy time, because this little dude does not do tummy! No sir! He will deal with it, for your benefit, for MAYBE 5 minutes, then he's done. Roll him on over to his back....and all is good! =)

When big brother got home from school, of course the first thing he wanted to do was play is XBox game, which by the way, we have had no issues with since his spanking and game off night. Mommy WIN....for now!

So, he played his game for a little bit, while I did momma stuff. Then one of our first "we're doing this together and it's going to be fun" activities was a school project that had to be turned in today. TOM THE TURKEY had to be disguised so he wouldn't be eaten at Thanksgiving. So, this was the disguise he chose...

 HULK...THE TURKEY. He thought this was the coolest thing. I'm sure in his mind he thought we would just color the turkey green. NOPE! You gotta have muscles!! DUH!! We had tons of fun doing this together, OH, and I KNOW his is the BEST turkey, and I'm totally not being biased or anything! ;)

In addition to just unplugging for a minute, I let my oldest decide what he wanted for dinner. Instead of me cooking something and telling him "You ARE going to eat it!" I decided to give him a night where he could tell me exactly what he wanted! And surprisingly this is what he chose...

 

Eggs with ketchup and "little hamburgers". I made a happy plate for him, then he literally made a happy plate. He ate it all and then asked for more eggs! God, I love that boy!!

The rest of the night just went along....REALLY good. Looking back on last night, compared to most of our nights, it was so...stress-free. Don't get me wrong, of course there were still moments when my 5 year old got in trouble, and my 3 month old was crying...and BOTH, DEMANDING attention at the same time. However, my mind set was different. I was determined to have a good night, and we did! We laughed...A LOT

We danced and sang. We acted soooo silly and goofy. We did everything that we normally do, we just made it fun! And of course when I say we, I mean ME, because to him, he's always having fun, even if momma is having a bad night. He's 5 years old, he doesn't have bad nights. Even when he gets in trouble, he's over it in a few minutes and back to doing something else fun. 

So, this was me being intentional. Savoring the moment. Living in the moment. Enjoying my boys, at the age they're at now. Enjoying all of the things I have to do for them each day, instead of just trying to make it through. It was GOOD!! 

Savoring the moment...

My 5 year old talks A LOT! ;) Who knew, huh? Most of the time, he's not really saying anything...just talking. Another surprise, right? Sometimes, though, he really does have important things to say, if only we'll take the moment to stop and listen. And, a lot of times, he really is very funny. My husband mentioned, maybe about a week ago, that we needed to start writing down some of the funny things he says, because, well...we get busy and days go by and we forget all about that one thing he said last week that was sooo funny it had us crying! At the time that he mentioned it, I really didn't think much of the idea. You know how sometimes it takes a little while for something to actually sink in? For most people, it's probably like a few minutes, maybe an hour or so. Yeah, well for me, it's like a week or so, sometimes longer. Thinking back on the moment that he mentioned it, it's almost like I didn't even hear him, though, obviously I did. But, today, it was finally like an "AH-HA" kind of moment. That's a really good idea. If we write all this stuff down, and still have it when he gets older, that would be something not only REALLY cool for us to look back on, but him as well. 

So, since this realization that my husband does actually have some good ideas from time to time, and that was one of them, I couldn't help but think... how many other things are said to me that I HEAR, but don't really hear in the moment? How much am I missing, not only with my ears, but also with my eyes? As moms, we are like crazy busy ALL THE TIME!! And I'm not just talking physically busy (though we are), but really, isn't it more MENTALLY busy? It is for me. My brain NEVER shuts off. I am ALWAYS thinking about something, planning something, worried about EVERYTHING. And they are all IMPORTANT somethings. How do you turn it off? If anyone is reading this and you are a Vampire Diaries fan, I think moms should have those switches that they have in their minds where we can just "turn it off". BUUUTTT...we don't! I mean, not really, but we do have a choice to be more intentional. To make it a point to. just. STOP. and be there in the moment.

YES, yes! I know!! It's not always that easy! But what about parenting is easy? And who ever said it would be?? If you do or did have someone tell you that it's easy, then they were totally full of it, and might possibly have some mental issues they need to get checked out! =) Just sayin!!

My evenings are always the busiest part of my day. Evenings are also the time of day that I have the most time with my oldest, now that he's in school. I find myself most nights just trying to make it to bedtime. Just trying to make it to that point when they are both sound asleep and the house is quite. WHY??? So, I can have some piece and quite to think and worry about EVERYTHING?? REALLY!?! Because that is exactly what will happen, unless I go to sleep, which is usually what I do. 

So, here's to savoring the moment. Being intentional about slowing down to enjoy the time that I have with my kids. Putting my cares and worries into the hands of God. My boys are so precious to me, and that is what I need to remember at that very moment in the middle of my crazy, busy night, when my 5 year old is playing his game and jumping around the living room like a little monkey, while baby brother is crying because he wants to be held, but I HAVE to get dinner done and on the table (and so much more), and I just want to scream!!.....NO! Just stop! Enjoy it, and realize what grandparents will tell you..."One day you will blink and they will be all grown up." The house will be quite and I will miss it more than anything. They will grow up one day. They will move out. They will have families of their own, and they just won't need me as much. THAT is a very sobering thought! 

Oh....CRAP!!!

It's 5:30. I'm awake, I'm awake! 

The baby is up, because it's still 6:30 to him! Freaking Daylight Savings Time! 

I'm UP! But, No, I am not awake! 

I change his diaper...change his pajamas, because no matter what brand I get they will ALWAYS leak. Fix a bottle. Lay back down with him. He's smiling at me, and it's the most beautiful thing in the world. But, I'm tired! So, we're going to lay back down. I snuggle with him as he drinks his bottle, and slowly we both drift back to sleep....

CRAP!! CRAP!!CRAP!! It's now, 7:30!!!!! Are you KIDDING me!?! 

It's very rare that we have mornings like this, but still, they happen. I can not stand it. Now, I have to make my 5 year old wake-up, like NOW!! Make him go tee-tee...No! You don't have time to lay back down on the couch...Sorry, buddy! We're LATE! Nope! No pancakes for you this morning, gonna have to do a juice box and a cereal bar. I throw some clothes in his general direction, as I grab his book bag and lunch box to double check everything! Nope! Forgot the note to the teacher! DOUBLE CRAP! Oh, and the $2.00 change that I am so worried about from the $15 that I sent yesterday for some Artistic Expression something another....YEAH, they're there bright and early, first thing this morning!! Ugh!! I pray I am not making him late for THAT! All the while, I'm thinking about that look the secretary is going to give me as I'm signing his name on the tardy sheet. Seriously! Has she NEVER been late before???

"You ready, buddy?"....Ha! Really, Brittney!?!? You JUST woke him up like 5 minutes ago, shooed him off to the bathroom, threw some clothes, cereal bar, and a juice box at him! This poor child has no idea what is going on. The word "late" means nothing to him! 

I look at him. He's still in just his underwear, except, he has managed to get his socks on. 

I stop. What is the point of me running around here like a chicken with it's head cut off? We're late, like literally, already late. There is no point, it does not help. So...I take a breather and help him wake up and get dressed, open his cereal bar and juice box. Then, we calmly gather our stuff and head to the car. He's not THAT late! =)

I get back home, the baby is awake, again. He probably was that whole time, but at that point he wasn't hungry enough to be crying yet (Thank you, Lord). But, he is now...time to get this day started! I'm not counting all that mess up there ^^^!! 

It's 6:00, do you know where your children are?

My oldest is in his room crying his sweet little head off because I made him turn off the XBox, due to his inability to not get angry with the game he WAS playing. There are so many things wrong with this situation right now. =/

Okay, for starters....he is 5 YEARS OLD!! Should he be playing the XBox in the first place? Um, NO, probably not! But, does he? YES!! All the time, every day. As a natural instinct of self-defense, I was TOTALLY against this from the beginning, but I lost that battle. A sad, miserable, somewhat regrettable loss <---I say "somewhat" because the times when he's NOT getting upset because something in the game didn't do EXACTLY what he wanted it to do EXACTLY when he wanted it to do it, the times when he's laughing and pretending to be and do the same things those superheroes are doing, and saying "Momma, watch this!" or "Look at me!" as he's flying, or shooting lightening from his fingertips, or turning into flames! THOSE times are precious! Those are the times when he is acting like and doing exactly what a 5 year old boy should be doing! Using his imagination and pretending!

But, instead, here we are....Him, in his room crying with his head buried in his pillow, thinking I am the meanest momma EVER!! And, me, feeling so bad for him and wanting to give in and let him have his game back....which leads us to our next problem.

Problem #2...this is probably like the first time, since he's been playing, and by "since he's been playing", I mean since he was like 3.5-4, so we're talking over a year now (YEAH, I KNOW!!!) that he has ever been punished, like really punished (spanking and game off), for his behavior towards his games. He, by nature, is very impatient. It kind of runs in the family...on both sides! He didn't have a chance! So, his frustration and anger with the games has been going on since day 1 of him having access to the gaming console, yet I am JUST NOW deciding "Oh, Hey! You ARE NOT going to act like that!!" Yeah! It's kind of a big deal for both of us!

Meanwhile, my 3 month old was in his swing, crying his sweet little head off, also, because...Well, because he's 3 months old and wants to be held any time his eyes are open, DUH!!

It was going to be a Chicken Fried Rice kind of night, but instead, it turned into pizza rolls cooked in the microwave now sit down and eat, kind of night! Now all I have left to do is give 2 baths, put on 2 sets of pajamas, brush 1 set of teeth, clean out 4 ears, put 2 little people to bed....repeatedly, pack a lunch and book bag for school tomorrow, double and triple check and PRAY that I don't have to send money with him for SOMETHING ELSE, write a note to the teacher asking where my $2.00 change is from the $15.00 that I sent today (It's my money daggumit!), make sure he has clean clothes to wear, if not, wash some, put the 5 year old to bed, AGAIN, then finally, instead of sitting down and possibly enjoying a movie and a glass of wine, go to bed and pass out, so I can get up and do it all again tomorrow night.

Yes! This is how my evenings are. Busy! Chaotic! Stressful! Exhausting!....WONDERFUL! This is my life. These are MY boys, and I wouldn't change a thing!!

-B